Javanka’s glitter bomb is almost ready to sell to Prince Bonesaw in POSERS 9. I’m just waiting on the custom holographic “Barbenheimer” decals. The tail fin assembly was pretty difficult, since there were no slots or tabs molded in.
This is a rather costly, yet low-quality resin-molded kit sold by masterpiecemodels.com. But it was the only such model of a nuclear bomb available. It’s 1:12 scale, which is okay for my 1:6 show since it will have to fit in various sets and vehicles, and few people actually know how big the actual nuke was that destroyed Hiroshima.
Since POSERS 9 will be a parody of Trumpworld, this called for a unique paint job. A Candy Pink base with Berry Pink trim, plus a top coat of Krylon Glitter Blast and aluminum antennas. I left the body of the bomb intentionally rough, figuring any paint might bubble due to leaking radiation.
I’m going to build an entire village with these miniature storefront kits and then shoot a chase scene through it with cars and guns blazing. The models are either 1:20 or 1:24 scale. They’re colorful, they have LED lights, and they would burn magnificently with some strategically-placed fireworks.
This is a 1:18 scale Aston Martin DB5 from Goldfinger. It comes in new and damaged versions.
I just invested in very nice set of 1:6 scale modular panels for various Trump Bedminster interiors, including his Residence and the Pro Shop. They’re made in Canada by Alex at Victoria miniLAND.ca.
There are three unique panels and four unique connectors in the Royal Panel Series. Each panel is 18″ tall and 17″ wide.
I opted for seven panels total. One panel is the fireplace and mirror centerpiece. Two panels have working double doors. And four panels are just basic walls that can accommodate paintings, lights, furniture, TVs, etc.
That gives me the flexibility to build out different rooms. For example, either three panels wide (51″) by two panels deep (34″), or five panels wide (85″) by one panel deep (17″).
Then I found an Etsy artist in London who will custom make a 9V flickering LED fireplace insert to fit the firebox, which is 5x4x2″. He’s only charging £22, but postage will be more than that thanks to Brexit.
Next, I found a pair of gaudy throne-like chairs made by VSToys, to match Trump’s tacky decor. These will frame the fireplace, in a POSERS scene in which Trump and Kushner make a $2B nuclear deal with Prince Bonesaw.
The Pro Shops in Goldfinger and at Bedminster have French doors leading to the golf course. So I’m making some. Here’s the first coat of lacquer. Unhinged, just like Trump.
I’ve had this 1:6 Coke machine on order for a year now, from newwavetoys.com. They’ve had trouble with its manufacturing but now they have them in hand, and are just awaiting the final license clearance from Coca-Cola. I plan to use this prop in POSERS 8 and 9.
Today my 1:6 scale RC Suzuki Jimny arrived. I still can’t believe I got this thing for $36. After some assembly, I applied the hood decal and started fitting things in it, including Prince Bonesaw.
I could jam him in the driver’s seat if I had to, but I’m not ready to risk breaking any pedals. And besides, the murderous Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia would probably have a dedicated driver. Someone smaller.
Meet Bonesaw’s Mini-me. At 7 inches tall he might need a little help reaching those pedals. This is the Baby Pang character from a line of whimsical animals made by the Mr.Z toy company. He’s one of the few fully articulated 1:6 scale animals out there.
He reminds me of Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp. In fact there was a Saudi Arabian villain on that 70s show called Sheikh Ali Assa Seen — also played by a chimp.
Got a 1:12 scale model of a nuclear bomb, for Trump and Kushner to sell to the Saudis at Bedminster. One-off precision models like these are produced by artisans at masterpiecemodels.com. I’ll use this as an opportunity to develop some airbrush skills.
This is a genuine golf pin flag used at the actual tournament POSERS 9 is set at. I grabbed it at auction on eBay from a British collector. I plan to use it as a 1:6 scale banner, and maybe also as a closeup on the 18th green.
Donald Trump’s real-life partner in espionage, Walt Nauta, also happens to be Asian (Guamanian versus Korean is close enough). So his head swap is a no-brainer too. One of Walt’s many “oddjob” talents is to move around boxes of stolen national defense documents ahead of Buttfinger’s meeting with Prince Bonesaw.
You may recall in the 1964 film Goldfinger, there was a classic golf match in which James Bond out-cheats Goldfinger and has to dodge Oddjob’s steel-rimmed bowler hat a few times. Well, you’ve already seen my version of James Bondáge in previous episodes of POSERS, so this arc just makes sense. I already own several 1:6 versions of 007.
in POSERS 9 they’ll be called Buttfinger & Handjob. And my Irish brother-in-law has agreed to voice James Bondáge again, so you know it’s gonna be a riot!
In a major Amazon Prime Day coup, I scored this 1:6 scale remote control vehicle for Prince Bonesaw for only $36 — a $199 discount! The desert sand color is perfect, as is the Third World design.
I’ll slap this $2.77 Coat of Arms 3″ tall sticker on the hood.
And mount this $11.55 12″ flag in the bed.
And of course Bonesaw’s $20 Saudi-colored golf cart — for his actual golf match with Trump. No room for passengers in this Jimny. Bonesaw’s harem will have to follow on foot, dragging their own golf carts through the desert sand. Their four carts will be used to ferry stolen classified boxes from Bedminster.
I really wanted to buy this beautiful, huge and expensive 1:6 scale camel, but unfortunately it’s not at all posable. And my series is called POSERS, after all. Imagine producing a piece like that without even the most basic articulation.
I started work on the animation stage for the golf scenes in POSERS 9. To fit my studio’s T-shaped animation tables and underslung MOCO system, I’m using an 8×4′ piece of OSB. That was less than $14 at Home Depot, in an age where actual plywood costs four times that. The next step was to match the curve of my 55″ monitor on the large end, and then use my 24″ turntable mirror as a template for the narrow end. Then it was jigsaw time.
To add some relief to the ground, I applied two pints of Foam Putty.
Next, after a whole can of Gorilla Glue spray, I roller-pinned, trimmed and staple-gunned the Woodland Scenics vinyl grass mat.
And here’s the result. This is the visualization phase where a scene really springs to life. This is a quick and dirty setup, with stands. I’ll have to figure out some rigging to keep some of these puppets upright during animation.
That’s my newest iteration of Trump in the foreground. I’m having trouble with my Chinese suppliers of 1:6 scale fat body suits. So I’ll have to get creative. (More on this later.) The first Trump head sculpt was pretty much destroyed by ketchup in POSERS 8. So this one is freshly molded, and without any paint or hair yet.
Likewise, Ivanka’s next costume is in flight. (She won’t be naked, sorry.) Prince Mohommed bin Bonesaw al Saud’s costume is now complete, except for his gold-framed sunglasses. His outer robe arrived today and I should have his Suzuki Jimny ride by the weekend. As you can see from this quickie pose, the possibilities are endless in terms of scripted action.
I’m very proud of Prince Bonesaw’s Burka Brigade. These costumes were made by a very talented Etsy artist. The Burkas, hijabs and niqabs (and a fourth piece whose name I forget) were very difficult to put on properly over my quartet of matching black curvy Barbies. Everything has to fit just right or it’s considered disrespectful to Islamists. Happy to tread lightly here. 😉
Flanking Trump at the podium is Secret Service Agent Travers, played by Keanu Reeves, and Trump’s Chief of Staff, fellow sexual assaulter and Tournament Director Kevin Spacey, from House of Cards.
And then of course there’s The Dude from The Big Lebowski, played by Jeff Bridges. This costume was sourced separately from the original collector’s edition, and is worth around $400 on eBay now — just for five pieces of clothing. His precious rug will somehow become Prince Bonesaw’s prayer rug in POSERS 9, tying the whole scene together.
