The USS Enterprise fires a single Photon Torpedo upon the Louvre.

“Give me a ping, Vasily. One ping only, please.”

Kirk orders Sulu to fire on the Louvre.

I’ll be replacing this shot with puppetry, but I don’t have a Chekhov to rightly take the navigator seat.

However, I did just acquire this set of 3D printed Star Trek chairs in 1:6 scale from a fellow Trekkie in Glasgow. (The cast isn’t yet posed to replace this shot, but you get the idea.)

This is the epilogue for POSERS, but it’s pretty much done. Except that if I have the energy later, I’d like to replace some of live action with stop motion. I do have the flags, Kim, Trump, Dennis — and Kim’s sister is coming soon from China, I hope.

Donald Trump’s infamous meeting with Kim Jong-un in Singapore on June 12, 2018 was a big inspiration for one of the subplots in POSERS, because it represented the normalization of two mafia-level, sadistic dictators.

I had long referred to Dennis Rodman as Trump’s Ambassador to North Korea, but CNN’s Chris Cuomo really sealed the deal by interviewing Rodman in Prime Time.

So to a part of that interview, I added layer upon layer of music and dialogue — including Kim’s character voice from POSERS and Trump’s actual voice as a public figure saying the most absurd things to Kim, caught on a hot mic.

In the background we hear the Summit’s venue playing a tinny, sappy song I recorded directly from the same Barbie Princess record player we saw earlier in the Bunker of Evil.

And in a headset surround sound effect, we hear a News Director (played by my sister-in-law) try to call shots amidst the chaos and technical difficulties — including a network Chyron operator who goes rogue for comedic effect.

In the end, Rodman essentially concludes the North Koreans are good people, and that his friend Kim Jong-un is perpetually misunderstood.

The scene fast-forwards to the infamous 2020 presidential debate in which Joe Biden tells an out-of-control Donald Trump, “Will you shut up, man?”

And then we end our show with our News Director aghast. “TV doesn’t get any better than this,” she sighs as she pops a beer. “And that’s a wrap.”

I haven’t posted in a long while so I have a lot of catching up to do.

Act 6 will feature the shortest and most expensive scenes in POSERS. I’ve built the largest two sets that I can fit in my tiny studio. They’re roughly 84 inches long, 32 inches tall, and 48 inches deep.

The first set is the exterior of a fictional theater at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, complete with an elaborate LED lighting scheme.

The second set is the adjacent grand entry hall with enormous picture windows overlooking the tarmac. That set will feature an animated, motorized moving walkway that I am custom-building.

Both of these subscenes will feature my most ambitious work yet. Or at least that’s how it always feels during the terror of preproduction.

Today I spent hours addressing the additional requirements of my trademark examiner.

Lt. Sulu is at the helm, doing an internet search for “midget porn.” But that’s not quite what comes up on YouTube.

I just tonight added Lt. Uhura to these first few shots. She’s preggers, and dancing with cat bells.

This is by far the funniest scene in POSERS if you ask me. Here Sulu has dialed up some epic Japanese Midget Wrestling on the main view screen, while Kirk and Spock are down on Earth working. This video is particularly hilarious because the wrestlers are wearing Star Trek-like costumes, and performing a famous face slide stunt that repeats a few times in this scene.

“You are away from your post, Mister.”

“Is Captain Kirk here? Is Spock here? While the cat’s away…”

It becomes apparent that Sulu is the baby’s father, even though George Takei is notoriously gay.

This is a recent subplot addition to Act 3. The USS Enterprise is in Earth orbit, accompanied by Gerald Fried’s epic “Amok Time” battle music and the voice of T’Pring, the Vulcan Priestess from Spock’s home planet.

“It has begun. Let no one interfere.”

Meanwhile, Kirk spots movement in the workshop area and realizes they’re being watched.

Spock begins scanning a grand hall with his tricorder, which appears to operate like a Polaroid camera. This is a green screen turntable shot.

Spock and Captain Kirk jump out of their poses on the revolving Louvre exhibit, and gather themselves under the glass pyramid. Kirk motions ahead for Spock to begin scanning the museum. For what, we don’t know.