Yo Father, it’s me, Jesus
(Or is it You or Us—I can’t tell anymore, haha)
Anyway, can I borrow the T-Rex tonight?
Me and John are going out
No Father, You know I’m not into girls…
But it’s kind to wash other men’s feet…
I don’t know what You heard
Lazarus was just a friend in need
No, he wasn’t just naked. He was dead…
Who told You that? Come on now,
Who are You going to believe, Father?
Some goat herders or Me, Your only son?
Anyway, can I borrow some shekels too?
Ah Jeeze, why not…
Frolicking in the forest with My disciples?
Again with the Spanish Inquisition?!
Why are You such a hard ass?
Always screwing these people over
You know they’re terrified of You now
Have You thought about chilling out a bit?
Huh? Oh, so now I’m an abomination?
But Me and John have a special affection
Gay as a picnic basket? LOL
Now that’s a fabulous one, Father
Yeah, Mary’s a fine woman
But she doesn’t like fish… or wine
Always telling me to stop showing off
And she can’t even walk on water, haha
Anyway—the T-Rex, Father?
I’ll even wash it for You when we’re done
No, I won’t ransack the temple again
(But You know it’s a den of robbers!)
Okay, sure. I promise to get a haircut…
But I already have a job, Father!
I’m a stand-up philosopher
And I’m getting some street magic gigs
We came up with a great improv act
Get this—we know a guy named Pontius…
What? I’m sorry to shame You, Father
I guess we don’t need the T-Rex, we’ll walk
John is the light and I am the sun
He is the voice and I am the Word
One is the friend…
The other is the spouse
Me and John are in love, Father
And we’re going to a supper
